i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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