You just made me feel so damn special
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
