A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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