Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize