i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
