ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
