just come out here and I will go home with you...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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