All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
