so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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