I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize