are you so shy because you have an std?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i came on her dog
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
