why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
