You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
