To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
