You made me cry and you don't even care
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
