well I can't set my house on fire every night
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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