u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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