Screwed.edu
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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