i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
