How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
