i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
