If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
