quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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