It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
