dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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