Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
