Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize