Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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