the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
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