oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"