i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway