Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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