I wish I only lived at night.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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