This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize