Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Well I just put wine in my tea
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
