You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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