He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Randomize
