Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
