Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
