I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
