i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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