in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
