I got her a Nickelback box set.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
