Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
