the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
