He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
