Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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