Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Never joke about your clitoris.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
