Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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