I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
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I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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