It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
