I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
