So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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