if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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