i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
