At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Randomize
