You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
